What? You talking to me?

So, basically, we're all enjoying our adoption experiences thus far, right? Good to know.

Gah!

I really do wish there was something I could say that would lighten the load a bit but umm, I'm right there with you. As a matter of fact I believe I will be a nutcase until she's is in my arms, inside of my house then perhaps I will exhale. At this point I would say I've sustained a fair amount of brain damage due to non-exhalation for the last 10 months. Unfortunately what remains of my brain are a few scattered functioning cells which are highly annoyed at the world.

Which leads me into my rant about RQ. My new goal is to not read RQ, at all - under any circumstances. Not so much because of the rumors per se, it's like I told Colleen earlier this week, the people? They leave some really asinine comments and I feel for some inexplicable reason a sense of duty to jump their shit in a somewhat argumentative and very bitch-like manner. Is it necessary to point my little finger and screech via type "YOU'RE WRONG."  And does that behavior make me the female equivalent of Terry from APC? I believe so and when I think about that, well I throw up a little bit in my mouth.

You see, this isn't me. I mean parts are, but for the most part - not me. I used to be a much kinder and gentler me. Now I would say I've become quite the Miss Pissy-pants. Things annoy me that wouldn't have even registered a couple of months ago. Like I was reading a blog of another a-parent and she has this, God I don't even know what to call it?? This ladybug obsession, except it's not even like the normal "starter" a-parent obsession it's like EVERYTHING is ladybug, the clothes she buys for her daughter, the nursery decor and OH MY GOD even this, this THING, this red and black THING in her office. It so distraught me that even now I can't fully talk about it.

But you see? This woman has nothing to do with me. She doesn't even know me and here I am getting all hostile about a collection she feels somehow connects her to her daughter in China, she's taking comfort in them, it's her talisman and I'm going to be the world's largest dick about it. Who am I to judge her? I mean if someone ever just popped over and read random entries on my blog, can you imagine? Surely they would think to themselves "and they're giving this woman a child?" and sadly, I would have to agree with them.

And then the other day on RQ some asshat left that State Department quote about China being sensitive with a vague insinuation that RQ could be causing harm. Now all of us at one time or another have gone through the freak of OH MY GOD ARE THEY WATCHING THE BOARDS, ARE THEY READING THE BLOGS?? And me personally having had this experience you would think I would conjure up some compassion and you know what my response was? I called him/her paranoid and said "Big Brother's not watching." Nothing soothing there. Yep, ass right here baby!

Soon I'll be whacking old ladies in the knees and ripping wings off butterflies. Perhaps I will kill a homeless person just to watch him die.

If memory serves this state I'm in right now? Not exactly a Buddhist mind. Perhaps some gentle yoga and meditation would be in order?

Or, there's always APC. I could always stir shit up on APC...

Comments

[Dee]

I'd rather be Terry than Bob. Just saying. That man drives me batshit.

[Kimmy]

I'm such a wussss. That APC board gave me such heart palps that I actually clicked on that little "Leave Group" button way back in November, 2005.

As for RQ, yeaaaahh, and NO. I rely on the sane for my rumors.

Ummmm......that would be you Steph', and M3, of course.

I have left the world of sanity. I have to call myself out on this one......up at 5 a.m. still hitting the F5 button on DHL.

Hey, at least those 4 friends I eluded to last night can rest assured that the information they eagerly await is now in OH.

I had no idea how many places "the package" had to bounce to before hitting our agencies, and I really wish the CCAA would upgrade to FedEx.

[Jacquie]

Oh man, I know exactly what you mean. I still go to RQ but REFUSE to read the comments. REFUSE. I am amazed at how many idiots are adopting. It's scary really. So if you do allow yourself a little RQ fix, stay away from the assy comments. It's helped.

[Jenny]

I go to RQ and read the comments but ignore them as most of those people don't even have blogs. They don't even get it.

I joined a yahoo DTC board and well....I can't even read it the people are soo uniformed.

Anyway, I think what I am trying to say is, I feel like we are in the same boat.

later aligator---try to do some yoga -J

[Colleen]

Well I agree for your own peace of mind, you might want to stretch out on the yoga mat for awhile. But if not, you are still my morning source of humor. And I mean, every stinking morning you make me laugh.

And I would NEVER compare you to Terry. I don't find him amusing at all.

[perfectlyinfertilejill]

I think you should have titled this post, OT: Terry G., Swiftboat Grump, is The Best Parent on APC and Is Willing To Clog Up Your Inbox To Prove It To You. I killed a ladybug the other day, and my agency didn't quit me, so no worries. There is nothing wrong with you! All those Yahoo groups and crazypeople can be so overwhelming that they make you start to feel like maybe YOU are the crazy one. But you aren't.

[WendyN]

I feel ya. It's hard to be nice and pleasant when you feel like you've been shit on by this process.

[JMo]

You are, without a doubt, one of the most entertaining China bloggers out there! Keep on keeping on.