Crunching the Numbers and Watching My IQ Drop Rapidly

So if I use the spreadsheet The Agency sent and count how many referrals need to come in before they get to my LID, the number is 65. If I were to include my LID date the number goes up to 98, but I would be in that batch as long as they didn't split an LID date which OH MY GOD I shouldn't even release that into the Universe [knocks on wood]. If I have 21 days left before they get to my LID and they're still saying 12 months at the latest, they keep saying that, "12 months at the latest" then the CCAA would have to do a minimum of 7 days a month, including this month, but then what about the rest of June aren't they in the 12 month wait too? Karen's in that batch and we've been planning to meet up at the White Swan and laugh about how crazy we've been, and then I look at that stupid spreadsheet and according to The Agency the people who are DTC on the 17th with an LID of the 28th are the last LIDs for the month even though there's the 29th and 30th which they're saying is in July but that doesn't seem fair to the people with late June LIDs, late June is still June not July do you know what I mean? And it just seems wrong. Let's say they do 7 days this month, that would mean at least 32.6 referrals would have to come in and that just seems like a lot given past statistics but that's how many would have to come in and how do you have a .6 referral? And really if we're talking about the rest of June there's 119 referrals and 30 days which means the CCAA would have to send 10 days and 39.6 referrals and the news? It's keeps getting more depressing every time I hit the "=" sign and there's no way, just no way they're going to be able to handle it especially since the rumor is only 4 days and what if they do that every month, 4-5 days? Then that would mean at least 4 more months of waiting, 6 months before travel and that's cruel dudes, that's just cruel and unusual punishment because that means what? 15 months after LID and 17 months to travel when it was supposed to be 6 months after LID and 8 months to travel? That's almost a year of delays and it's wroooooong and it makes me angry and really frustrated and did I tell you we finally bought bottles? Weeeeeeee, they're Advent and they're kind of cool and we weren't sure how many we were supposed to get so we only bought 3 and I know this isn't enough but how many do you need? I don't know but I'm guessing we'll find out, at least sooner or later and I'm hoping sooner but I'm nervous about hoping because every month for what seems like my entire life there's been a smidge of disappointment at the end of the month and I have no idea what I'm going to stress over when Emma's finally home but I've been thinking maybe I over think things, what do you think?

[breathing hard, can't catch breath]

Wine anyone?

Comments

[Holly]

You really need some Chamomile tea there, Steph...
and perhaps a straight jacket to go with that tea.
I have one you can borrow.

[Kimmy]

Thank you, Steph' for this:

"but that doesn't seem fair to the people with late June LIDs, late June is still June not July do you know what I mean?"

I'm one of "those families" with a late June LID. So late, I simply refer to it as, "The CUSP." I need to come up with snazy verbage and, thus, turn this horoscope term into an acronymn, with a bite. It IS a June LID, dammit!

Our agency flat out refuses to provide us with the total number of families with June LIDs. They say that, and I quote, "June, July & August are the 3 largest groups of the year."

The only real data I was able to get out of the GA branch office is that there are 12 families in GA, for our agency with June LIDs, 2 of them, again, just in GA who should/will, with June 2nd & 3rd LIDs, get their photo this week? I thought, based on what my agency told me last Monday, that "the package" would've been mailed already, but, they're still waiting.

I've read and re-read your post and I'm having a hard time digesting it. Like some type of virtual acid reflux.
I am shaking so hard right now trying to stylus this comment out on my PDA.

I am nothing but sick now over this wait. I'm beyond tears....almost....and just physically ill. I don't think there's a strong enough anti anxiety medicine to help anymore. We are at the mercy of the CCAA now and as I've said before, I'm in for the long haul. I may not like it, it may make me sick to my stomach to think that I'd have to wait any longer than 11-12 months to see a photo of my baby, but that's the hand I've been dealt. I will have to find some way to accept it, should the CCAA stay on this and in my case, 2 days worth of LIDs because quality of life is becoming an issue.

Acceptance, in this realm, is not easy for me. I don't like it. I'm angry, sad, sick and worst of all, deflated.

All I'm left with is WTF.
WTF. WTF. WTF.

WTF are we going to do?

[ashley]

We had a 6/17 DTC and a 6/28 LID. Hmmm.

I find it amazing that Kimmy's agency would tell her that June/July/Aug. are the three big months of the year when everyone had been saying that about April and May. ???

And then in the last batch everyone said it was HUGE, but yet the two major agencies didn't receive any referrals. How could it possibly be that large and still not have any for the two big ones? I have no idea what to think anymore. Everything seems to contradict.

But as usual, here we are all getting hopeful about this next batch of referrals, and it makes me think we are all setting ourselves up again. Each month we believe the rumors and each month, we always get burned. So rumors are pointing to the 3rd or the 6th as the cutoff, but the CCAA has proven they always do less than the rumors. :( Gawd how I hope things change soon. I never knew I would want another 2 week batch again so badly.

[Johnny]

Girl, carriage return twice will generate those things we call (as I hold up my two hands and use my fingers to make quotation marks) "paragraphs".

You'll need more bottles, but we can chat about that offline. I don't want to gross people out in your posting section.

[mimi smartypants]

Wine? Yes please.

I realize your post was not really about bottles but about your referral stress, but since I have nothing helpful to say in that department I will just comment that you should just plan on buying more bottles in China. Chinese bottles have much larger-diameter holes in the nipples, and your kid could possibly be wedded to a particular type like ours was. We got her to use "regular" US bottles eventually, but it just wasn't happening in China. All that stuff is so cheap over there anyway, you might as well get what she's used to.

[Kikalee]

STEPH!slowdownyou'remakingmybrainhurt.

Chardonnay please. Just pour it into one of those bottles and I'll suckle it for the next who the hell knows number of months.

[Jenny]

I had too much wine this weekend and now I am sick.
I am in for a long year of alcohol on the weekend and illness during the week!

You will need more than 3 bottles!!!

[Hopeful Mommy]

I get such a headache even trying to figure out what may or may not happen. I keep thinking this will be the month when they play catch up and when they will do a few weeks of referrals, but well....it just sucks! I can't even think about my LID anymore. I just live through you guys. :-) Mine is like light years away!

[koli's mom]

I'm so stressed that I now eat Tum's like candy. I look at the recent months number of referrals given to our agency and agree with your analysis. But there is a part of me that remembers the large numbers our agency used to get. I'm holding out hope and expecting that it will be June at the latest for us. Miracles happen, right? I have no bottle advice-my mind is so fried that I can't remember what I used or how many I used when the boys were small. Wine? Absolutely.

[Tracee]

OHMYGODATLEASTYOUARESEEINGTHELIGHTATTHEENDOFTHETUNNELANDTHISISAGOODTHINGBECAUSEIWASREALLYGETTINGWORRIEDABOUTYOUBECAUSEIREALLYTHOUGHTYOUWEREGOINGTOCRACKBEFOREEMMAARRIVEANDIFYOUWEREN'TPARTIALLYCRACKEDYOUWILLBEAFTERYOUTRYANDREADTHISFOLLOWTHELIGHTFOLLOWTHELIGHT