Emma-Bug

I thought this summed it up nicely

Use The Snark Luke

I love you guys, but I have to tell ya' I'm a little disappointed. That was a blatant, full frontal Star Wars quote and not one of you called me on it. STAR WARS People!

I really expected more snark. Have I taught you nothing?

I thought I'd get at least one "that was a nice Post Steph, but umm did you just quote Star Wars? Mother of God is that a faint 'L' on your forehead".

Epic

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...........

It is a period of civil war, rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire..........

Wait. Not that epic, this one:

We've seen our hopes for a child dim as the referrals abruptly slowed down. We read with fear and shock of the allegations in Hunan. We were frightened to the bone at the the Missing 64.

We've eaten our way through entire states and sometimes through entire countries. We've paced, we've mumbled, we've lost countless hours of sleep.

We've worried about money, about our decisions, about our capabilities. We've worried when we couldn't put words to our fears.

Our jobs have suffered because we've been too distracted to concentrate, our minds have been in China for a long time now.

We've answered countless questions and fielded endless asinine or hurtful statements. We've educated and have been educated. We've learned the world isn't quite so big and we discovered the minds of some are indeed very small.

We've learned of bonding, of illness, of patience, of compassion.

We've turned our faces towards the warmth of the sun shining brightly in the east and turned our backs on infertility. We discovered new hope when we've thought all hope had died.

We've felt the weight of a child in our arms who wasn't there

We've celebrated with friends when they've become mothers and we've seen their children thrive when given love. We've watched them grow as a family.

We've bickered endlessly and passionately with our spouses over nothing and then worried about our marriages only to fall in love all over again.

We've lost friends who couldn't possibly understand no matter how hard they tried.

We've swam in the great pools of depression.

We know we're not the same person we were when we started this journey, and we know our future has yet to be defined.

We've felt lost and discovered we're not alone.

We've suppressed expectation and excitement because we fear the jagged pain of disappointment.

We've rediscovered our faith and lost it time and time again.

And we're still standing. It's been a hell of a year.

Wha?

Hey Abercrombie & Fitch, guess what? You just lost yourself a customer you racist pieces of shit.

Gee, the pointed rice-paddy hats and slanted eyes with no eyeballs, the laundry reference? I would have never thought of that. You guys are geniuses and so, so original! Perpetuating a bigoted image, you must be very proud.

On behalf of adoptive parents to Asian children everywhere, I'd like to give a heartfelt and sincere...Suck It!

Assholes.

Thank you, Management

How To Make Me Eat the Top Half of an Entire Chocolate Cake

Latest word is our referral will be in at the end of June, travel in late August or early September.

SEPTEMBER!

Shoot me now before I throw myself off an overpass.

I can't help but think if I had gotten my Dossier in two months earlier I would have been on the 6-7 month schedule. Or if FedEx hadn't of lost my Dossier, I'd be getting my referral in this next batch.

And, and, and.....blah, blah, blah

Sometimes it just feels the "Power That Be" have conspired against me being a mother. Sometimes it feels like I'm making this whole thing up, and sometimes I just want to cut my nose off to spite my face and stop this whole thing and then run for the hills to hide like a little wussy titty pants.

September? Sheesh that's a long ways away. Fifteen months from LID (Ha! beat that SARS People!). How much weight do you suppose I can pack on in another five and a half months?

Johnny, I may be traveling with you after all. But if you go before me, you should know I will be forced to toilet paper and egg your house. I'm sure you understand.

And with this somewhat devastating news I'd like to mention what the JuneDTC board has decided to do being the killer rebels they are; a hair bow exchange.

I. hate. them. so. much.

This better be some evil rumor or, or, or.....damn it I don't know, I need more cake.

A question as vast as the ages

How do I stop the dog from plucking warm yummie's from the cat box?

In a completely grotesque turn of events Hollie's under the impression the little morsels are the hot plate special at a cafeteria and she's bellying-up, tummy growling.

Although she doesn't just grab and run, ohhhhh no, she breaks it up by grinding it into the floor with her little paws. She wants to savor it.

To be honest she's been feeling really good lately so it's possible Walter's poo holds mystic healing powers. It could very well be the feline equivalent of The Fountain of Youth. Analysis may be warranted.

Ew.

Blog Cheese

So what do you do when you have a Blog and you're sick? You post pictures. Forgive me if it turns out to be a random selection of letters with inappropriate punctuation.

Behold y'all, the HeeHaw Garter/Head Band as shown this evening by Walter who was so pissed off at me for subjecting him to my whimsy he peed on my succulents in the garden, while looking at me straight in the eye! They're a little blurry because he was moon walking in an effort to escape the hideousness. Even Walter has standards People.

And as a warning should you ever decide to come to Texas and visit me (really y'all get your asses down here) you should know you can never leave bread products unattended. My boy likes the carbs.

He systematically went around the edge of the tortilla bag looking for a weak spot to enter.

Who me? You must be hopped up on cold/flu medication Mama, cat's do not like bread products! You go rest now.

And I thought I'd share the awesome progress I've made to the nursery. Remember it's taken me 5 months to do this so brace yourself.

Let's address the wabble first. Wine. I have nothing else to say about it. I could paint over it and repaint the wabbled words, but nope. shhhh - I don't care.

Second, five months dudes! There really is no excuse for my sloth-like speed.

And yes, it is a line from Willy Wonka, my favoritist movie of all time.

And now........

 

When did it become fashionable to dress your little girl as Little Bo Peep or a circus clown? Is this a Texas thing? What the hell? These outfits scream THERAPY and must cease immediately. Just. Say. No.

And to highlight the difference between me and apparently the large number of pageant mom's in Texas, here's my latest purchase complete with studs and the obligatory punk red plaid. I may not be welcome in the PTA.

Hot Blog Love

Coming at ya!

More proof the transition has yet to occur (Now with a picture!)

As if more proof was needed ...

Him:  "The box with the dresses came"

Me:  "Ooooo, open it, open it!"

Him:  "Awww, they're so cute!"

Me:  "Yay!"

Him:  "It looks like she's thrown some sort of garter thing in the box"

Me:  "Garter?"

Him:  "Yeah, it's like some sort of HeeHaw garter"

Me:  "Why would someone who makes children's clothes throw in a garter?"

Him:  "...."

Me:  "...."

Him:  "Maybe she had some leftover material?"

Me:  "That's just strange and a little creepy"

Him:  "yeeeessssss..."

Me. "...."

Me:  "[laughing] Oh my God, you know what it is? It's a head band!"

Him:  "[laughing uncomfortably] Oh my God!"

Me:  "I'm so blogging this"

It Puts the Lotion in the Basket

1. I made a huge, huge mistake and rejoined the stupid, lame June DTC Board. I don't know what I was thinking, I don't know why I did it but needless to say I now remember why I got off that thing. There is no comfort in the unchanged asinine conversation over there. Let's not talk about anything of substance, let's talk ladybug items found at your local Target.

2.  The rumors! Oh lordy the rumors. Every month the same thing "they're going to process a full month!". B.U.L.L.-shit, and bullshit was it's name-o. I know this, we all know this but damn it if we don't fall for it every goddamn month. Ahhhhh the depression, the sweet, sweet depression when they only process like 20 minutes worth of Referrals (this month's Referrals will be for those Dossiers logged in between 10:42a and 11:03a on May 26th. Congratulations!) Bitter thy name is Stephanie.

3.  It starting again. That funky nighttime thing that was almost the death of me during the 171 wait last year. I had heard the term "cold sweat" before and I'm sure in an effort to be dramatic at some point I've even used the term, but until I started actually having my "spells" I had no idea how miserable they truly are. First I dream vividly, but not about the adoption or China because that would be logical. No I dream about mundane topics, but they're so damn vivid I don't feel like I'm rested at all in the morning. But the worst part of it is I wake up several times a night drenched in sweat and so cold that I'm shivering even though it's not particularly hot or cold in the room. It sucks. It happened almost every night for a month during the 171 wait and it's started back up again this week. I do believe the anxiety is seeping into the subconscious. I have to admit, the idea of having another 3 - 4 months of this - not good.

4.  Mark and I have made a deal, I get to be batshit crazy now and he gets to be batshit crazy between the wait from Referral to travel. I've agreed to this but let's be realistic here, it's me we're talking about.

5.  I'm discovering that the happy people of the Earth are really pissing me off. It's seems unnatural to me, what exactly is it about their brain chemistry that would allow them to blow powdered sugar up everyone's ass at all times, 24\7. I've always contended true evil is blasphemy against nature and I believe this would qualify.

6. I'm a moron and I now have proof. Mark travels often for his job so I'm always making credit card payments when he gets his expense checks in. Somehow I managed to make a $2,000 payment and then the next week not remembering I had made said payment, made another payment for $2,000. So yeah, I paid $4,000 in two weeks! Mark even questioned me on it before I made the second payment and I was all pompous, "No, no I haven't made it yet". Needless to say our budget this month is completely wonkified and it's only the 10th.

7.  I had, HAD to go into the Weird Chick's office the other day to get something. She was out because she claimed her son was ill (who is 14 People) (and ironically this always seems to happen when her boss it out of the office. If you want a sanity day have the balls to just call in, don't blame it on your kid. But I digress...) and there is enough religious paraphernalia in there to be SERIOUSLY creepy. It was like Silence of the Lambs creepy, everything from books to plaques to hand typed quotes, to her mouse pad. Look I'm not judging the religious aspect of it, I'm just saying don't bring that stuff into the workplace, or more appropriately don't bring the shear volume of crap I witnessed into the workplace. It was everywhere, I heard In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida in my mind. Of course this shouldn't be surprising to me, the woman is certainly not known for her decorum. OH, did I tell you that she stood in my door and hiked her skirt up to show me she was wearing stockings? Yeah, see what I'm saying? Freaky amounts of religious paraphernalia and subjecting me to the horror of her undergarments.......

I am so looking forward to those 12 weeks of maternity leave - oh sorry FAMILY LEAVE.