Here's my annoyance de jour.
This woman I work with, let's call her "X", is forcing me to the brink of bitch-slapping her. Allow me to elaborate, and trust me, this is only a sampling:
1) She makes the same amount of money as me, even though I do 20 times the work she does - and it's actual work - unlike what she has to do, which is say, make reservations for her bosses wife at a spa.
2) She received the same bonus amount as me, even though I have seniority.
3) She wields her bosses name like it's a fucking weapon. Everything sounds like a mildly veiled threat.
4) She makes statements like "good girl" as if we're puppies.
5) When she actually has something to do, no matter how small or insignificant, she gets so hyper that she speaks at a rate only an auctioneer could understand and doesn't take a breath in between sentences. The woman could be the next pearl diving champion.
6) She refers to her boss as her "fearless leader." Thaaaaat's right, her FEARLESS LEADER.
7) Every single week (every.single.stinking.week) for the past 9 months I've had to endure "I can't wait until our Emma comes home so we can play with her" said in this odd sing-song voice that attracts every stray animal in a 5 mile radius.
But today, ahhhh today she decided to kick it up a notch:
X: "I can't wait until Emma comes home and sticks her little fingers up your nose!"
Wuh?
I must have made a face like someone just handed me a turd, because she looked a little shocked and shuffled off, hyper as could be to make lunch reservations for her Fearless Leader.
Serenity now, serenity now, serenity now, serenity now.
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