Apparently if you, shall we say.... "go away" for a few months, you will return to a fairly good amount of spam. It's reminiscent of coming home and finding your house filled with deviants. There's a chick riffling through your closets, some asshole security dick is hassling people at the front door and OH LOOK! Gross, some greasy dude with bad english is fingering all your food. Go away spam people, you are not welcome at my Miss Havisham-esque blog!
Sooo. Yeah. Hi.
My name is Stephanie. I am married to Mark. Our daughter is Emma. This is Emma-Bug.
A wee bit about myself, just to bring you up to speed: I was once known as the great infertilini because...you know? the none production of zygotes and it's older more mature sibling, embryos and stuff....which quite frankly was kind of a downer. I say once because....fuck I don't know, it's not like I'm sprouting them now, as a matter of fact I recently had my ovaries removed due to alien like cysts of doom so....now with 100% more infertile with a side order of bioidentical hormone replacement! Hence the adoption of said child from large, hot, humid place of communism and heavenly noodles.
Mark, the saintly husband? Still around. I have no valid reasons for explaining this, for I? am difficult but god bless him, he's a trooper. Everyone give a clap for Mark.
Emma. The Bug. The Mighty Ems...Still wonderful and almost 6 (on Friday godhelpme). She's incredibly bright and funny has been known on occasion to be cantankerous. She frequently rolls her eyes at me and has taken to mumbling "lame, mama" under her breath. She is also a foo-foo princess of unicorns and glitter and honestly BUMMED AND SHOCKED that she does not have magical powers - like we've somehow cheaped out on her. GO PICK UP PIXIE DUST AT WALMART FUCKERS!
So here's the thing.....the batshit is back bitches, belly-up. I've missed this.